Over the years, the picture of what a family should look like in our culture has changed drastically. Having big families is not the norm anymore. You stick out like florescent lights when you have more than 3 little children following you.
It’s always very interesting to hear and see stranger’s reactions when I’m out in public with all my children.
Some common responses I receive are:
“Oh my! Are those all yours!”
“Where you planning to have all those children?”
“Where any of them a surprise?”
“Wow, you’ve got your hands full!” And my reply then is, “Why yes! I’ve got my hands full of LIFE!”
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Here are a few things our culture has taught us about having children:
CHILDREN ARE AN INCONVIENENCE
Yes, I will also agree that children can be an inconvenience at times. But they are only an inconvenience when I’m trying to accomplish MY tasks. When I’m focused on what I want to get done is when I’m annoyed at my children. So what it comes down to is perspective. With this negative outlook, this perspective will definitely keep you from having lots of children.
Our culture reminds us that we don’t have time for children. “You need to go to college! You need to have that high paying job!”
“So who has time for children if you want to be working all the time? And how in the world are you ever going to enjoy life if you have all those children!”
CHILDREN ARE EXPENSIVE
Our culture tells us that children are expensive. Yes, children can be expensive. It’s all what you make of it. Children can be extremely expensive if you buy them everything they need or want. For Birthday’s and Christmas, some people are putting stuff on layaway because they don’t even have enough of money to pay for it upfront.
The reality of buying children toys is that a few days or weeks later, that toy is sitting in a corner or left outside, not being played with until maybe another month or so later. And then it will again only be played with for a short time. If you don’t have the money to purchase your children those big gifts… then don’t!
I have five children aged six and under. We have not consistently bought Birthday or Christmas gifts over the years for our children (I know, we must sound like horrible parents!) Over the last six years, we probably have bought a handful of toys for our children. All their toys are given by their aunts, uncles, and grandparents.
Robert Kiyosaki explains in his book, Rich Dad Poor Dad, that his “poor” dad said he is broke because of his kids. Robert’s “rich” dad said that he is rich because of his kids. So basically, his “poor” dad just gave excuses for his circumstances. And his “rich” dad created a plan of how to make more money. (I highly recommend reading this book! It has incredible insight about finances!)
CHILDREN RUIN OUR BODIES
Our culture tells us that having children close together or too many children in general will ruin your body. My personal belief is that if God knew that it would ruin our bodies, He would have made a big time frame that you couldn’t get pregnant after having a baby.
And I’m confident that God rejoices the moment another baby is conceived inside of you!
People will tell you that children are disobedient and that they will misbehave. You’re constantly hearing the same sayings over and over again. “Just wait till they turn 2… those terrible two’s!” or “You just wait till they reach puberty and into their teens!” or “You just wait until they go off to college and on their own!” “YOU JUST WAIT!”
Well, yes, this cycle could go on and on in a parent’s life about their children. Constantly having a negative outlooks on life. I have not personally experienced the teens or adult life yet. But this goes back to what I said about children being an inconvenience. It’s all about perspective. Two children could behave in the same manner, and one mom could create huge drama over how the child reacted and have a negative outlooks on the child. And the other mom could keep calm, handle the situation, and still have a positive outlook on that child. The exact same situation, just two different perspectives on life.
There is incredible power with what we speak and declare over our children. Check out these Declarations that you can download for free, print out, and place into an 8×10 frame for you and your children to speak over yourselves every day!
So, what is your philosophy and perspective on having children? Are you falling into the trap our culture is trying to engrain in us? Not that you need to have a lot of children. What it comes down to is,
“What is your perspective in having children compared to what the world is trying to tell you?”
My husband and I always fall back onto this scripture,
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” Psalm 127:3-5
I will conclude with this thought… As parents, the more children we have, the more blessings we are giving to God. He designed us to have relationship with Him, right? So, the more children created and choose to follow Him, the more blessed He is.