I have a lot of friends that say they could not imagine having 4 children. They say, “I have one child that consumes all my emotion, time and energy, I could not imagine having another one, let alone 2 or 3 more.” Or, “I could not imagine loving another child as much as I love this one.” It is possible to love all your children with the same amount of love for each of them because we have a God! We have a God that gives us unending grace and love to each of us that we can transfer to our children. You actually will end up giving and receiving more love because of the many more children you have.
Lately, I have been connecting more with moms who have 3 or 4 children, and the majority of those moms agree, in that,
“I really does get easier the more children you have!”
I’m not perfect, like I said before, I have my struggles in getting easily frustrated with my children. I sometimes set my standards and expectations too high on my children. However, parenting really is easier now than when I had my first child.
Why? Why does it get easier? How?
1. BREAKTHROUGHS IN YOUR LIFE
I believe our children are the iron in our lives… as Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”. Children reveal our weaknesses. They show you what you need to overcome and break through in your life. I’ve had many breakthroughs since my oldest has been born. Things I’ve struggled with 5 years ago I don’t deal with anymore because my children have been used to bring them to the light. The more breakthroughs you have equals the more freedom in your life.
2. GAINING CONFIDENCE
You are overwhelmed when you have your first child… you’ve never been a mother, no one taught you, no one explained it to you, you didn’t have any experience in this expertise. You were nervous, fearful, concerned about every little thing with your first child. You’ve never done this before. However, when your 3rd or 4th comes around, you’ve gained so much more confidence in yourself as a mother. You’re more relaxed rocking your baby to sleep; you’re not all worked up when your baby or toddler cries. You are more chill- not as uptight. You’ve done this before. Confidence is instilled in you from the experience you’ve had.
3. STOP COMPARING
I also believe, the more children you have, the more you realize how you’re not going to be perfect, same with your children. You stop thinking you’ve got it all together. You stop looking down on that other mother that doesn’t handle mothering the same way you do. This goes back to the confidence. When you’re confident in who you are as a mother, you stop comparing yourself to other moms. When your child screams and cries in public, your main concern is not what other people around you would think, but rather your main concern is on your child and what is needed in that moment. You are able to think more clearly in how you should handle that situation because you’re not so concerned of what other people are thinking.
4. LESS FEAR
I think most of us moms deal with a lot of fear when we have our first. A toy that has fallen on the floor, we sanitize it then give it back to our child. We wonder if our child is still alive in their crib, hoping they are still breathing. We don’t want them to fall and hurt themselves. We attend to every little cry we hear. I could keep listing the scenarios. I’m guilty of some of these things myself. However, I believe most of us moms deal with fears like these less and less after each child is born. The unknown isn’t as much of an unknown anymore.
5. YOU’VE GOT HELPERS
The more children you have, the more help you have around the house. I don’t want to sound like I have little slaves running around my house. However, I do believe we should teach responsibility to our children starting at a young age. As your children get older and start helping around the house more, this will lighten your load. Your children can help you with the every day tasks that need to be done.
6. ENTERTAIN EACH OTHER
There are parts of the day that I need to focus and get stuff done around the house that only I can do. Most times my older children can play well together and keep each other occupied as I accomplish these tasks. They also can entertain and help keep the younger ones content.
7. IT’S FUN!
The more children around, the more fun it is! I’ve been laughing more lately than I have in a long time. We all know the smart comments young children can make while being completely serious. Plus all the funny things that come out while being goofy with each other. And with 3 of those characters around, my days have been filled with many moments of laughter. I’m also looking forward to when they get older and all the memories and fun times we will have together as a large family.
Parenting is draining, yes, its exhausting. However, I believe parenting can become less and less stressful each time a new child is born. You’ve been through it several times now. You have an idea of what to expect. You’re also becoming an expert in your niche.
Do you believe this to be true? Share your opinions below.
If you liked this post, check out one of my favorite bloggers- ClubWomen31, Lisa Jacobson- her article, 8 Reasons Why I Love Having All These Kids.